I've kind of dropped off the face of the internet and scrapbooking world.
I got overwhelmed.
I needed to step away from everything before I drove myself crazy.
It got the point where I couldn't even stand the thought of creating one more thing.
I needed a break.
I hated not wanting to do something I once totally loved.
I needed to step away to see if I could find my way back to wanting to create.
I stepped down from all of my design team responsibilities. It was a hard decision to make, but one I knew I had to make. For me, and for the teams I was on, because my heart just wasn't in it anymore and that wasn't fair to anyone.
Life is busy and I just didn't have the room for 'extra' work.
I wanted to get back to creating because I wanted to. Making things that meant something to me. I was tired of it feeling forced.
It's been a couple of months since I stepped down from everything.
I expected the desire to want to create and my passion for scrapbooking to come back by now, but it's not happening. At least not as quickly as I wish it would. But, I do feel it creaping back into the corners of my life.
I can almost feel it coming back. Almost. Not enough to grab on to yet, but it's almost there.
I'm kind of starting to feel that excitement come back.
I'm looking forward to coming back into it with a new perspective. Coming back into it for me. Not for deadlines or any of that. But just because I want to. I don't think I'll ever want to be on another design team.
I wouldn't change the years I've spent being on DT's, but I don't think I could go back to it. I think I'm to a point where that part of creating is behind me. I just want to do it for me. For my family. For the memories. With no stress or pressure.
I want to still teach at BPC because that's different. That's always been about teaching instead of designing (well not only about desiging anyway!) what I want to create, using products I want to use or even items that have been in my stash for years. It's been about watching other create and love this hobby! I love what I get to do there so I'm still holding on to that part. Stepping down from DT work has actually made this part of me want to teach more because it's bringing back the passion I have for it. I was actually dreaming up new class ideas last night and I was getting excited!
Anyway, I'm rambling now. I just wanted to let you all know where I've been.
Does anyone still read here? I've thought about shutting this down too, but lately I'm feeling the desire to want to start blogging again. Blogging for me...not because I have to do that either. I want to be more authentic. I want to be more me...does that make sense. I want to say and write about whatever I want. I don't want this part of me to feel forced either.
I'm hoping you'll stick with me while I'm on this journey because I can see only good things on the other side!
On another note (and because this post is too long not to have a picture with it!)...check out this sweet little puppy that is coming into our family in one week. I'm terrified and excited! We have only met him once but we are all totally in love with him. I've never had a dog before! More about him soon!