Where have I been...

I've kind of dropped off the face of the internet and scrapbooking world. 

I got overwhelmed.

I needed to step away from everything before I drove myself crazy.

It got the point where I couldn't even stand the thought of creating one more thing.

I needed a break. 

I hated not wanting to do something I once totally loved.

I needed to step away to see if I could find my way back to wanting to create. 

I stepped down from all of my design team responsibilities. It was a hard decision to make, but one I knew I had to make. For me, and for the teams I was on, because my heart just wasn't in it anymore and that wasn't fair to anyone.

Life is busy and I just didn't have the room for 'extra' work. 

I wanted to get back to creating because I wanted to. Making things that meant something to me. I was tired of it feeling forced. 

It's been a couple of months since I stepped down from everything.

I expected the desire to want to create and my passion for scrapbooking to come back by now, but it's not happening. At least not as quickly as I wish it would. But, I do feel it creaping back into the corners of my life. 

I can almost feel it coming back. Almost. Not enough to grab on to yet, but it's almost there.

I'm kind of starting to feel that excitement come back.

I'm looking forward to coming back into it with a new perspective. Coming back into it for me. Not for deadlines or any of that. But just because I want to. I don't think I'll ever want to be on another design team.

I wouldn't change the years I've spent being on DT's, but I don't think I could go back to it. I think I'm to a point where that part of creating is behind me. I just want to do it for me. For my family. For the memories. With no stress or pressure.

I want to still teach at BPC because that's different. That's always been about teaching instead of designing (well not only about desiging anyway!) what I want to create, using products I want to use or even items that have been in my stash for years. It's been about watching other create and love this hobby! I love what I get to do there so I'm still holding on to that part. Stepping down from DT work has actually made this part of me want to teach more because it's bringing back the passion I have for it. I was actually dreaming up new class ideas last night and I was getting excited!

Anyway, I'm rambling now. I just wanted to let you all know where I've been. 

Does anyone still read here? I've thought about shutting this down too, but lately I'm feeling the desire to want to start blogging again. Blogging for me...not because I have to do that either. I want to be more authentic. I want to be more me...does that make sense. I want to say and write about whatever I want. I don't want this part of me to feel forced either. 

I'm hoping you'll stick with me while I'm on this journey because I can see only good things on the other side! 

On another note (and because this post is too long not to have a picture with it!)...check out this sweet little puppy that is coming into our family in one week. I'm terrified and excited! We have only met him once but we are all totally in love with him. I've never had a dog before! More about him soon!

Comments

[Susan McDonald]

I'm still here 😃 and I relate to what your saying. I've been doing a lot of photography prompts from different sources and need a break as well, to just go out and explore with my own muse like I used to. I appreciate what I have learned from doing the prompts but need a rest.

[Judi Church]

Lisa, I have missed you, but am so glad you were wise enough to take this time for yourself and your family. I did not learn that lesson till way too late in my life, and I am constantly telling my daughter and her friends to make time for themselves.
Your puppy is adorable! You will love having him/her around. Do not be terrified; if I can do it, anyone can.
Looking forward to hearing from you when you are ready.

[Joan V]

Hi Lisa,
It was nice to read your blog. Ah, the puppy is so cute. And the children look like they are in love with that little puppy. It is a picture like that, that makes you realize blogging and crafting can wait. I am sure you have beautiful scrapbooks of your family, and that is most important. The moments we think that are very little are really the most important moments. I, myself, have gone from scrapbooking, card making and decorative painting to writing my history and journaling for my children and future generation.
I am sure that along the way of being on all the DT, that you learned so much about the craft and yourself. It seems that you found your passion in teaching, so go for it !!!!!
Have a great day and hope to hear if the puppy ends up at your home and his name.

[Julia]

I'm here Lisa :) and it's good to know you're still around. Hopefully your creative muse will return fully in the near future!

That puppy is gorgeous. He'll bring so much joy into your family, particularly for the kids.

[tina phillips]

Lisa I think we all go thru what you describe. I am so fortunate to be on a Dt that actually encourages us to do what we love. If we have family obligations it's not a problem and everyone loves everyone......I've probably been spoiled and this is most likely the exception rather than the rule amongst teams :) Life is way to short to not love what you do. That spark will come back...and when I am feeling really overwhelmed sometimes I just sit and make a card from scraps. It's so much quicker than a layout and you get almost instant gratification. And there is also the why it makes you feel to give someone something you have made with your hands rather than a purchased card. This blog is yours.....let your voice be heard and write what you feel. Ain't nothin wrong with being real :) And if people can't handle that (apparently at times I am a little too real for some...lol) tough! Hang in there!!!!

[Casey]

Lisa,

I am still here as well :) I read and look for your posts. I too have been where you are - maybe not creatively but I have just felt tired and worn out and don't want to do 'it' anymore.. and so reflectional and focus on YOU, family are needed and appreciated!
I hope to see your continued posts! I think you are AMAZING!

[Tammie]

Take your time figuring it all out...let time take its time...we all have busy lives. I'm learning from you and others that have recently stepped down/back from design teams - I want to enjoy my hobbies at my own pace.

Cute pup!

Take care of YOURself!

[Dalon]

so wonderful to see your post out here today!!! glad you're back in the blogging world - I still follow you :-) it made me smile to read your honesty today - THAT is why I read your blog - I want to know about you and your thoughts - I love your creativity as well, but your personality is what keeps me coming back :-)

[Alicia]

I still read here! And there's nothing wrong with taking breaks, sharing more of yourself (your WHOLE self, not just your scrapbooking self), and making your family your main focus! I struggle with the same things.

[Kelli]

I read, and I totally understand the stepping back processes and finding the desire and the passion again. That process took a lot longer than I thought it would or should for me as well. I'm soooo grateful my husband didn't let me give everything away. :) There are definitely seasons to life and SBing can't take top billing in very many of them.

[Lisa-Jane]

We'll all be here waiting for you to come back when you are ready. In the meantime enjoy the puppy!

[Susan Ringler]

....stange coincidence---my MAC crashed and I have been reduced to a really slow laptop and my phone for computing most of the summer, therefore I am WAY behind on all my blog reading! I have missed all of you and i hope you feel the desire to get back to us because you always have worthwhile things to say and share; projects and such, you know!

[dog food]

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[Brianna Marshall]

I am in the same exact boat.I admired that you stepped away from everything,and made me comforatable in that same choice.I have been burnt out in every sense of the word,and this whirl wind of the scrapbook world has left me frazzled in the past few years,keeping me in a pattern of creating on for a few months,off for a few months and so on.despite my lack of momentary creative bliss,i love peeking at your blog!you are a great read and a great inspiration,from your layouts,to your life stories,and mostly your pledge to play more everyday!i hope you can find a happy place where creativity and life can blend well and you continue to blog :)

[Twoboysforme]

I totally relate to this blog post. I fell off the scrapbook face of the earth as well. Just had no desire to create. I was praying the muse and desire would come back. When it (finally!) did, I was so excited. So glad you have found the perfect place at BPC!

I love that you rescued your dog I have had many rescues and it's so vital that people try to do that before going to a breeder. There are so many beautiful dogs and cats that need homes!

I was amazed at the story of your daughter and the name Peter Pan! How wild is that? Totally meant to be obviously. Hope all is great with your new pup! Glad I found your blog :-) Stephanie